January 4, 2017

Misspelled Spelbook Excerpts

Penned by a mischievous archfey in the early days of the world, the Misspelled Spelbook was devised as a prank on foolish mortal spellcasters who take magic too seriously. To the fey, arcana isn’t a logical discipline, and treating it as such simply ruins all the fun! Since then, the book has wandered from owner to owner, spreading havoc and occasionally joy wherever it wanders.

Like the other ancient fey tomes, the Misspelled Spelbook is bound in rich leather, sewn with gold thread, and written in rhyming verse. Unlike the other books, however, the Misspelled Spelbook is cursed with potent dyslexia hex. Any creature capable of casting spells can use the book, to cast a spell without using a spell slot, but doing so unintentionally casts a misspelling of the original, with often disastrous changes.

The following is an excerpt of spells from the book, with their accompanying misspellings and effects (known only to the GM before casting.)

Blur. Slur: You are unable to speak clearly for 24 hours. For the duration, any spell you cast which requires verbal components fails. Additionally, when you speak, you must make a DC 16 Charisma (Persuasion) check to be understood.

Cloudkill. Clownkill: All clowns, jesters, and colorful minstrels within one mile die instantly.

Cone of Cold. Cone of Cod. A tidal wave of fish erupts from your hands. Each creature in a 60-foot cone must make a Dexterity saving throw or take 2d6 bludgoning damage from oncoming fish.

Control Weather. Control Feather: For one hour, you can use your action to move feathers (and feathered creatures and objects weighing less than 10 pounds) with your mind.

Fly. Flay: You become painfully skinless for 24 hours. You are unable to wear clothing or armor of any sort and melee attacks against you deal double damage.

Lightning Bolt. Lightning Blot: This spell electrifies a shifting, blotted area of earth in a 30-foot radius around you. For the next minute, whenever a creature moves within this area, roll any die. On an odd roll, the creature takes 4d6 lightning damage.

Magic Missile. Tragic Missile: You create three glowing darts of magical force. Each dart misses a creature of your choice that you can see within range.

Plane Shift. Plain Shift. One or more ordinary things about you, such as the color of your shoes, the shape of your nose, or the placement of one or more scars or wrinkles, change for 24 hours.

Scorching Ray. Scorching Rat. You conjure three rats, which pop into existence engulfed in flames. The rats move in random directions and die after moving 20 feet. If a rat moves through a creature’s space (including your own) the creature takes 1d4 fire damage.

Sleep. Sheep: Magical sheep appear everywhere within 100 radius of you. The sheep are nonhostile. After 24 hours, or after a sheep takes damage, it vanishes in a puff of sparkles.

12 comments:

  1. Well, I have to link to this:
    http://www.giantitp.com/comics/Incentives.html

    I can totally see the clownkill being used to kill a 20th-level bard.

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    1. The bard tried to cast cloud kill from a scroll copied from that book...

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  2. Cone of Cod! does a little damage and feeds a whole city

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    1. It does smell kinda bad, though...

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    2. Now we know Jesus' trick.

      (Jesus's? I'm never certain whether I need to add the s after the '. If any grammar nazis are reading this, I'm sorry.)

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    3. +idan bhk
      no you are correct a noun ending in s such as my name requires no s after the ownership apostrophe

      Delete
  3. Uhhhh, guys, could you please make pdf's out of these too?

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    Replies
    1. Yes! Erm, eventually! I'd like to do a /few/ of these articles, and release them all in a single, large artifact.

      Delete
  4. I want this book and I will just become a feather-mancer. Using feathers as tiny darts that I can control with my mind.

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    1. It should be a bonus spell for the Cluckromancer

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  5. Alternative for Slur: You are unable to speak without insulting those you talk about for 24 hours. For the duration, you suffer disadvantage on all Charisma (Persuasion) checks, and other people suffer disdvantage on all Wisdom (Insight) checks to figure out whether what you're saying matches what you believe. In addition, whenever you cast a spell with a verbal component that targets another creature, they must succeed at a Wisdom save or immediately become hostile against you. If this effect happens to a creature that is already hostile to you, they instead suffer disadvantage on all attack rolls against targets other than you on a failed save.

    How's that?

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